What you can buy with $50. Are you for riel?

A commonly asked question I get from my peeps back home is, “What kind of money do they use over there?” Over there implying Cambodia, the other side of the world, and/or space.

It’s an interesting system of bartering, similar to fur traders of the colonial times, and you can pretty much use whatever you like to pay for a good or service. I tend to sing for all of my meals, but sometimes I’ll give them a palm reading depending on how well I’m in touch with the spirits that day.

Actually, they use the US dollar.

And these bills for change. Whoa! I’m loaded.

Instead of carrying around 11 lbs of coins, I can rid my wallet of pennies for riel. I’m thinking of using this as the title to my next rap album, penniez fo riel.

It’s about 4,125 riel to a dollar, but everyone goes by the 4:1 ratio. I like to think I’m clever handing someone 4,000 riel when they ask for a dollar. Surprisingly, less than a nickel loss doesn’t bother anyone too much.

But what does a dollar actually mean in Cambodia?

I’ve come up with a list of some very important goods and services under $50 in Phnom Penh, so if you’ve got a fifty and some time in this city you can:

1. Have the ladies at Luna Boutique make a dress for you.

I needed to play the role of English teacher in the upcoming film “Real Life” so I found a dress shop around 51^st and Sihanouk to make my costumes. Every dress in the store is $45 and that includes alterations. Ta da!

 

2. Stock the kitchen and buy groceries for a week.

A pan, pot (not that kind), spatula, spoon, knife, cutting board, silverware, plates, and pitcher

+

my groceries—use your eyes

=

$45

 

3. Get really really really drunk. Riel-ly. I’m done, I swear.

Let me break this one down for you with a general list of prices for happy hour and also happy hours that you just have to pay more for.

Draft beer: $.50-1.50

Cocktails: $1.75-3.50

Shots: $1.00-2.00

Limes: free with salt

If you spend more than $50, you were pick pocketed.

 

4. Relax at Riverfront

Although this is an extremely touristy area, I won’t act like it’s not fun.

There are approximately a gazillion restaurants. They’re all about the same price with, unfortunately, about the same menu, which includes pizza, hamburgers, and typical Khmer soups, fried things, and steamed things. All very good. Lunch and dinner shouldn’t cost you more than $15, though—unless you’re including #3.

After lunch, walk across the street and watch the boats go by or the kids playing.*

*This activity is free.

Once watching the kids playing has worn you out—children make me tired just looking at them—you can go back across the street to get a massage.

There are more massage parlors here than there are Starbuck’s in the US, so don’t worry about trying to find one. Same goes for mani/pedi salons.

And of course . . . shopping!

Any good you want, they’ve got. T-shirts, movies (bootlegged of course), jewelry, books, and buddhas.

If anyone would like to provide me with $50 to do more of these activities I am always taking donations.